College and the future and finding a job

So this entry is going to all about my college fiasco and the future. I hope that some of what I say in this entry can help people with decisions in their lives. Early during my last year in college (which was the second year of my degree course in Electronic Engineering) I realised I wasn't enjoying the course and I couldn't really imagine myself doing this for the rest of my life. But I didn't say anything to anyone because I wasn't entirely sure. I thought that maybe it was just other things happening in my life at the time were getting me down. I suffer from depression and can become very down all of a sudden and have to figure out why or I am useless to anyone. I usually am able to figure it out by talking to someone that I trust about all the things going on, but that is a story for another time perhaps. I kept with the course for the rest of the year, but as the year progressed I started attending less and less classes and didn't really mind that I was falling behind, but I still went to most of my labs and did the projects to get some marks. It was about march when I really realised that I definitely did not want to do this for the rest of my life. But I thought about the fact that my parents had spent a lot of money on me and this course, the way the economy is at the moment and that it was an in an area that had an awful lot of job opportunities once I got my degree. So I decided that I would work hard with my study and do my best to pass my exams in May. I actually felt like I had done ok in the exams and may have actually passed. There were a few that I was worried I had failed, but I thought it would be ok...

Results came out in early June and I still felt confident about quite a lot of my subjects. Just one or two I was worrying about that got my nerves a bit rattled. Turns out I failed every single exam, but only by 3 or 4% which was the worst part. So I 90% of my summer break wondering what to do, should I repeat the year in a course I do not like and run the risk of falling into old habits and failing again, wasting more money or do I drop out of the course and re apply for the following year in something new that I would prefer to be doing? I think this is the toughest decision I have ever had to make in my entire life. I eventually told my mother that I had failed and she helped me come to my decision. My friends were a great help during this decision as well and the best part is, none of them told me what to do, they just helped me work it out. I don't think I would have made the right choice without their help. I decided that I was going to drop out for at least one year, find a full time job and decide what I want to do in college. I really enjoy to write but I really don't think I could make a career out of because I am no where near good enough, but I think I would actually really enjoy teaching English to people. 

Most colleges in Ireland have been back at least a week, but for that week I have been wandering the streets looking for jobs. I have handed C.V's into nearly every shop in the area so hopefully I hear something back soon. I had forgotten how tiring this is. I don't know why it is tiring either, because all I am doing is handing a C.V to a manager and answering a few simple questions if they ask them. Everyone I talked to was lovely so that made it easier. Maybe it's my brain trying to psychically tell them to give me a job the mental strain becomes to much :P

So for anyone that reads this, I seriously recommend going to college and doing what you enjoy but I am not one of these people that would insist on attending college. If you are not enjoying your course, take a step back and look at the whole course itself. What you enjoy about it, what you don't, what kind of job can you get after you complete the course and do you want to do any of these jobs. If you can see yourself enjoying a career in any of these jobs, I think you are in the right course. But if you have a tough decision to make, sit down with someone you trust, it doesn't have to be family and talk through everything with them. There is always someone out there that can help you. I really hope this is helpful to people.

Stardansheill o7